Black men, white women: How to keep your cultures in balance

Interracial dating does not always mean that you date someone from a different culture. Especially in the United States, there are many African American men and women who have been living in the United States for so many generations, that they are not even sure about the details of their cultural heritage. The same is true in Australia as well as some European countries. In other words, if you date interracial, but within the same nationality, there shouldn't be much conflict, regarding your cultures.

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In many cases however, you and your date might share a nationality, but your parents might not. In this case, you most likely both have quite a strong sense of your cultural background and heritage and the differences of your cultures. Even more so, if you come from different nationalities! So is it possible to really have a balance between your cultures, or will one culture always be dominant? If you want to date white women or black men and are hesitant because of this challenge, keep reading and you might find your answers.

Personalities matter

White women looking for black men are often attracted to the stereotype of a masculine, macho guy, who knows how to take charge in a relationship. This stereotype -like all stereotypes- is quite ridiculous. That does not mean, however, that often one of the two partners in a relationship gets a more dominant role, because usually that's what works best for the couple. In that case, the person with the strongest personality is more likely to promote more aspects of their cultures. It needs conscious effort from the low-profile partner, in order to make sure that they keep the traditions of their culture that they love alive. This is very easy to solve with a simple discussion. Even if you hate conflict, you will realize that in most cases, no matter how much someone loves their own culture, they like learning about other cultures as well. So don't be shy! Speak up and show off the beautiful traditions that you grew up with.

Family Challenges

You might be willing to have a mixed culture balance in your home, but your parents and other older relatives might make your life hard. Imagine for example that you want to celebrate Hanukkah with your girlfriend, but your family feels that you should be celebrating Christmas with them instead, like you did every year. Black men and white women face this type of challenges a few times a year, especially during holidays. It is good to set some boundaries from the start, even if the relationship is not meant to last. Come up with a plan that includes everyone but make it clear that you will all have to compromise. It could be that you celebrate Hanukkah one year and Christmas the next or that you celebrate both or that the two of you create a holiday of your own, mixing elements from both cultures! Why not? Just get creative.

Dealing with conflict

If after some time of being together you or your partner feels that your culture is being suffocated in the relationship, then you need to have a serious talk. Our culture is a big part of who we are and if you or they feel that you cannot express this aspect of yourself freely, then things need to change. Even if your relationship ends, don't be discouraged. It was for the better. Someone more accepting will come into your life soon!